Author's Note: I lay no claim to the Saiyan race. I did not come up with them. This little ‘lesson’ has been paraphrased form ‘The Humans’ computer game Instruction Manual. I take no credit for the original version. I mostly substituted ‘Saiyan’ every time the word ‘Human’ appeared and added a few words/sentences here and there.

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What is a Saiyan?

Saiyans are small squidgy pink creatures with four semi-articulated limbs and a relatively long hairy tail. These limbs can be used for moving around or manipulating objects in a similar manner to normal appendages as well as pummel huge holes in whatever they come across. In addition to these limbs, Saiyans have a ‘head’, which houses visual, audio, olfactory and mental operation units. This rather odd configuration means that the Saiyans often seem confused by the amount of information they receive. So we can see that physically the Saiyans, although strangely formed, are not particularly outstanding. That is, until they look at a full moon. What makes the Saiyans so loveable is their habit of turning into a giant monkey whenever they look at a full moon and then proceed in destroying everything around them in a mindless rampage, unless (1) their tail is cut off, or (2) the moon is destroyed.

Where do Saiyans Live?

Saiyans originally come from the planet Vegetasei. After thousands of years of in-fighting, Saiyans were able to achieve space travel and found that there were other species to fight with. In-fighting continued on Vegetasei and the planet was eventually destroyed. Only 5 Saiyans survived, and only because they were not on Vegetasei at the time. These last few Saiyans moved to Earth (a planet populated by a similar looking species called Humans), fought each other and reduced their population by three.

What Do Saiyans Eat?

Poisonous Plants (Once, then they avoided eating any kind of plant whatsoever). Any creature they come across when they get hungry (With the exception of their own species and Humans). Lava (For lizard curry)

How Do Saiyans Protect Themselves Against Drought, Famine, Plague, Storms, Typhoons, Floods, Tidal Waves, etc?

Saiyans destroy anything that threatens them, then fly off to a nicer area.

Who Do Saiyans Pray To?

Saiyans don’t pray to anyone; others pray to them. For example- Oh Great Saiyan please do not eat all my food, Oh Great Saiyan please do not crush me with your mighty fist, etc.

What Currency Do Saiyans Use for the Exchange of Goods and Barter?

Strength. The Saiyan economy is based on Strength. For example- “Give me that meat because I can beat the crap out of you.” This system works surprisingly well.

What is the Saiyans Greatest Achievement So Far?

Chi powered flight (Minus the subsequent ability to destroy each other in new and creative ways).

What is the Saiyans Greatest Mistake So Far?

They destroyed their home planet and wiped out most of their species and you really have to ask that?

THE END

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Rouge Moon