Budokai Madness

 

Author's Note: I don’t own any characters, Cancer and Victor are made ups owned by other people. You cannot use them, I have permission. Now read

 

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Videl rolls her eyes, hits Cancer over the head with a frying pan (from behind), knocking the girl out, and then walks over to the announcer and takes his microphone.

 

The crowd starts chanting "Vi-Del! Vi-Del! Vi-Del!"

 

Videl clears her throat and talks into the mic, facing a camera, "Hello everyone! And welcome to today’s episode of Budokai Madness!"

 

Crowd cheers.

 

"On today’s episode: children from the future and the parents they're obsessed with! We have two guests today. The first is a pink-haired princess of the moon who is obsessed with her father and wants to steal him away from her mother... Princess Lady Serenity! Also know as Chibi-usa!"

 

Chibi-usa walks over and sits in the comfy chair that suddenly appears on stage and waves to the crowd whose male factor whistles loudly.

 

Videl nods her head and gets the attention back on herself, "Our second guest is a purple haired hunky prince of all Saiya-jins who is also obsessed with his father (but not in *that* way, folks) and wants the man to be proud of him... Prince Trunks Vegeta Briefs! Also known as Mirai!"

 

Mirai walks over and sits in the comfy chair that suddenly appears on stage and waves to the crowd whose female factor whistles loudly.

 

Videl again gets the attention back on herself, "Chibi-usa, please tell us a little more about this situation."

 

"Well, you see, I'm a princess of the 30th century... and ...well... there aren't any princes then and no one remotely knightish. So the only guy I have to fantasize about that is like that is my own father from the past. I can't fantasize about him as he is in the future, that's just icky. But his past self is open for lovin’!"

 

Crowd whispers.

 

"What?! Look at him! You'd fantasize too!"

 

Videl nods,” I... see. Well, Thank you. *Ahem* Mirai, care to tell us about your situation?"

 

"Well, I grew up without ever knowing my father. He was killed when I was only one or so. So when my mom gave me the chance to go back in time to warn Goku about the androids and the virus, I thought I would find out a little bit about my father... What he was like and all... He wasn't too pleased to learn that he had a half-breed purple haired son..."

 

Crowd goes 'awwww...'

 

Videl: "Well... As a surprise, we have invited both your fathers to come and tell what they think! Goku? Bring 'em out!"

 

Mamoru walks out on stage and takes a seat next to Rini who immediately glomps onto his nearest arm. He sighs.

 

Goku drags Vegeta out on stage. Goku is Super Saiya-jin two and Vegeta is fighting him in Super Saiya-jin. "SHIMATTA KAKKARATTO! LET ME GO, YOU BAKA! I WILL NOT DO THIS! YOU HEAR ME, YOU WORTHLESS, NO GOOD, THRID CLASS, BAKAYARO SON OF A WHORE!? I WILL NOT!"

 

Goku smiles and sits Vegeta down in the chair then ties him down with Bulma's specially made Ki-reversing handcuffs. Vegeta's power level drops to nil and Goku powers down, "Aw, come on, 'Gita! You need to get to know your son! It's a good thing to bond!"

 

Videl smiles, "Welcome Mamoru, Vegeta! Mamoru! Tell us your opinion on this."

 

Mamoru sighs, "Well, I don't mind Chibi-usa hanging about, but I love Usagi and their competition over me gets to be tiresome."

 

Rini smiles and yells to the odanga-atama in the crowd "See! You need to stop competing for his attention!"

 

Usagi: "Get your hands off my man!"

 

Rini: "Make me! He's mine!"

 

Usagi runs on stage and pounces on Rini who shrieks and tries to run, but isn't able to get away. They start fighting and the crowd starts chanting 'Vi-Del' once more. Mamoru sighs.

 

Videl: "Goku! Could you please help!"

 

Goku come out on stage and grabs both women by the collar and separates them, then sits them both down in chairs on opposite sides of Mamoru. They immediately glomp onto the closest arm and glare at each other over his chest. Mamoru sighs.

 

Videl: "well, wasn’t that interesting... *ahem* Vegeta! Tell us your thoughts on this situation with your son."

 

Vegeta glares and keeps tugging on the cuffs, trying to break them: “WHEN I GET OUT OF THESE, YOU ARE ALL DEAD! I WILL ENJOY DESINTEGRATING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! BRAT! STOP SITTING THERE ON YOUR PURPLE POUTY BUTT AND HELP GET ME OUT OF THESE!"

 

Trunks: “You see what he does! Every time he talks to me, it's an insult! And always, he dis's the hair! Chicks dig the hair! It's mom's hair! I like my hair!"

 

Vegeta: "IT'S GIRLY, YOU WHINING, NO ACCOUNT HALF-BLOOD! YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO BE MY SON! YOU HAVE TO BE KAKKAROTS!"

 

Trunks: “If that were true, it would mean that Mom cheated on you."

 

Vegeta stops and thinks for a moment: “Just another reason to destroy the third class baka. Raping the Mate of the Prince of all Saiya-jins is punishable by death."

 

Goku: O.O "IT NEVER HAPPENED! I SWEAR! I LOVE CHICHI!"

 

Bulma: "HOW THE HFIL COULD YOU THINK I WOULD EVER SLEEP WITH GOKU?! No offense son-kun. (Goku: None taken!) AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WOULDN'T TELL YOU?! FACE IT! TRUNKS IS YOUR SON AND YOU HAVE TO GET ALONG WITH HIM!"

 

Vegeta: "SHUT UP ONNA! THIS ISN'T ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

 

Bulma: "I have to live with you, it is my business! You want out of those cuffs, you have to work things out with Trunks." She twirls the keys to the cuffs around one finger.

 

Mamoru sighs.

 

A vein starts to throb in Vegeta's forehead... "Brat... You do know that this show is an undignified piece of *&^% and appearing on it makes you look whiny and gay, don't you? Do you really want all the women in the world to think you're gay?"

 

Trunks: O.O "JUST BECAUSE I HAVE PURPLE HAIR, DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY! I WAS BORN WITH PURPLE HAIR!"

 

The crowd makes noises along the lines of 'uh-huh, sure' and ‘I bet he dyes it’. Mamoru sighs.

 

Vegeta: "Get me out of these and we can destroy the unbelieving bakas for insulting the royal line of Vegeta-sei. Like the third class said... We can 'bond'."

 

Trunks think this over as an evil glint comes to his eye...

 

Vegeta (voice getting deeper as he quotes Darth Vader):"Together we can rule this universe as Father and Son."

 

Crowd starts to fidget nervously. Usagi and Chibi-usa start to fidget nervously. Videl starts to fidget nervously. Goku starts fidget nervously. Mamoru sighs.

 

Trunks grins: “Sure, but I want Pinkie. A Prince deserves a Princess."

 

Vegeta: "Deal!"

 

Rini: "Eeek!"

 

Trunks gets up and blasts the ki reversing cuffs off Vegeta's wrists and the arrogant S.O.B. powers up and takes aim at the crowd. Mamoru sighs.

 

Bulma: "If you kill any of these people (me included) you won't be getting any nookie from me for the rest of your life!"

 

Vegeta thinks, then lowers his hand: "Sorry, son, but I want my nookie."

 

Trunks: "I can still have the pink-hired girl, right?"

 

Vegeta: "Sure. Grab her and lets get going. I'm feeling peckish. I want to eat." He then files over and grabs Bulma, throwing her over his shoulder, "you and I have to talk, onna. Those hand-cuffs got me thinking..."

 

Mamoru sighs.

 

Trunks smiles evilly and grabs Rini: "Did you know I'm a prince? Princes are automatically Knights. And I've got great hair."

 

Rini, now that she has such a great view of Trunks, goes all giggly: “Sorry to disappoint you, Mamo-chan, but I just met my knight in shining... um... Ki-aura!"

 

Mamoru sighs.

 

Trunks carries her off after his father.

 

Videl: “Well folks that's today’s show..." she starts to wander off in front of a painting, "But before we go I think we should all sit back and reflect on the lesson we have learned today. It doesn't matter if you're from the future or the past. Parents mean a lot to everyone. That and utter annihilation by a megalomaniac can be avoided if his wife threatens his Nookie. G'night everybody!"

 

Crowd cheers as credits start to role and Usagi and Mamoru are walking off stage. Usagi pulling Mamoru and Mamoru sighing.

 

Chichi is pulling Goku's ear and Yelling.

 

Victor and Cancer are both still knocked out and security is bringing out stretchers.

 

Videl goes off to cheer on her father and Lunch robs a few more people before shooting out the camera.

 

*Experiencing technical difficulties. Stay tuned for station identification*

 

 

THE END

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